The Spears clan may fuck around with fashion and gas station boiled peanut stands, but one thing they do not fuck around with is their stash of Benjis in the bank. Oh, who are we kidding? Britney Spears keeps her savings buried in Folgers coffee cans out in the backyard. But now that her ex Kevin Federline has showed up with a shovel looking for more moolah, Jamie Spears is about to let the hound dogs out in the form of Uncle Sam.
TMZ says K-Fed’s lawyer sent Jamie a letter on Tuesday demanding to see Britney’s 2017 tax return since their whole argument is Kevin should get more than his current $20,000 per month in child support since Britney is raking in a lot more these days as the co-Queen of Las Vegas (sorry, Celine Dion, you had the solo throne for long enough). Well, two can play at that game because Jamie’s carrier pigeon is allegedly en route to Kevin’s with the same kind of letter, demanding to see his tax return since they think he’s just sponging off Britney and not working on his own to feed all six mouths he created with a variety of women.
Jamie doesn’t want to give a dollar more than the current child support arrangement until Kevin can show how he’s spending the money (namely, he has to show he isn’t spending a penny of it on the other four kids). While the TMZ report says Jamie does want to make sure the kids are getting what they need, and if a judge says he should get more, he would be fine with it, I’m calling BS.
I think the real way this is going to be settled is how all matters in Louisiana get settled. Jamie and Kevin (Britney will be too busy having an Instagram fashion show in her Vegas mansion) will each go down to the nearest swamp, pick a gator, and race them. Whoever’s gator reaches the finish line first not only has to pay for lunch at the Cracker Barrel after, he will also get to dictate the new custody agreement. It’s the only fair and authentic way to settle business!