The story of Stormy Daniels’ alleged affair with Donald Trump has been inching forward like a firm but determined turd. And we all know there’s no putting the genie back in the bottle once that turd has crowned. According to People, back in 2011, Stormy took (and passed) a lie detector test which was recorded in accordance with an agreement with Life & Style magazine who wanted to publish her lurid tale of sex with then Apprentice buffoon Donny.
Stormy was asked three questions: Did you fuck him, was it unprotected, and did he promise to put you on the apprentice? According to People:
Daniels answered yes to all three questions. In the report, Slay said the last question pertaining to the president’s promise that Daniels would appear on The Apprentice was “inconclusive.”
Great, so now we know The President has trouble keeping both his scalp and his dick covered. Stormy’s lawyer, Michael Avenatti The Hottie bought the recording and teased its existence on Twitter using his patented bad ass Italian hashtag #basta (basically, enough or stop).
— Michael Avenatti (@MichaelAvenatti) March 20, 2018
Jesus, it looks like she had to walk the green mile to get there! Avenatti The Hottie says that he purchased the tape for $25,000 to keep it safe from those who would like to see it burned at the stake.
He told CNN in a statement that he bought the video “to ensure that it would be maintained and kept safely during the litigation and not be altered or destroyed. We did so after learning that various parties, including mainstream media organization, were attempting to acquire the video and the file and either destroy it or use it for nefarious means.”
Michael Avenatti also had a dick-measuring contest with David Schwartz, the lawyer who represents Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen, on Anderson Cooper 360 last night. They screamed at each other and Schwartz said that when Stormy loses and has to pay $20 million, he hopes she sues Michael Avenatti for malpractice to get the money.
Meanwhile, Stormy’s taken to twitter to defend herself against those who would like to see her burned at the stake. And of course because sitting on the can and tweeting about it has become de rigueur, Stormy’s tweets include dirty details that won’t wipe away cleanly.
@StormyDaniels why don’t you just disappear. No one cares you were a slut and slept with POTUS 12 yrs ago.
— mike magro (@inkedskindawg) March 20, 2018
Technically I didn't sleep with the POTUS 12 years ago. There was no sleeping (hehe) and he was just a goofy reality TV star. But I digress…People DO care that he lied about it, had me bullied, broke laws to cover it up, etc. And PS…I am NOT going anywhere. xoxoxo https://t.co/Js9sEnanIk
— Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) March 20, 2018
Stormy’s 60 Minutes interview is set to air this Sunday (after several weeks delay). I hope this story has eaten a lot of fiber, drank plenty of water and is ready to slide out smoothly so we can finally light a match, flush and keep it moving.