The ladies on the set of Ocean’s 8 didn’t entirely kick men to the curb when they rebooted the film George Clooney rebooted from the Rat Pack. All that rebooting makes me really want to sing “Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under,” but I’ll stop. Cate Blanchett claims that she and Sandra Bullock did bring dick into their lives while working on Ocean’s 8 by getting peen facials at a spa.
Cate told Vogue Australia (via The Daily Mail) that they each got a “penis facial,” but she insists she doesn’t know what that is. Sure, Cate, neither do I. Sounds like Sandra is now looking to reboot Love Potion No. 9! She divulged more:
“Sandy [Sandra] Bullock and I saw this facialist in New York, Georgia Louise, and she gives what we call the penis facial. It’s something— I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just cause it smells a bit like sperm—there’s some enzyme in it so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial.”
Oh, Georgia! You have some ‘splaining to do! Georgia told The Daily Mail the procedure got its street name because it uses the stem cells from the foreskin of Korean babies. The cells get harvested and infused into a patient’s skin using micro-needling to stimulate collagen. Korea is the source of so much foreskin for the procedure because it has a ton of stem cell banks.
Georgia seems to have some sympathy for Cate just calling it a dick facial and not really elaborating on whether some dude jizzed on her:
“Poor Cate, I don’t know how she’s going to cope with all the reaction. I’ve heard some people say “oh, she’s got cum on her face!” That’s obviously not the case but yes… ridiculous.”
No, what’s ridiculous is if you’re going to go to all that trouble pairing peen with skincare, why not get a little man butter on the face? It’s a far more organic way to smooth out wrinkles than robbing a stem cell bank.