Break Out The Purell: The “Jersey Shore Family Vacation” Trailer Is Here

March 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Jersey Shore is coming back to MTV and nothing has changed yet everything has changed (mainly their faces and bodies, the gang’s had a lot of work done). Entertainment Tonight reports that almost the entire cast (Sammi Sweetheart is the only one missing this check) will be traveling to Miami for Jersey Shore Family Vacation: Smells Like Old Times, which will air on April 5th.

MTV will be providing the booze and morning after pills. Here’s a list of the cast and what they’ve signed up to bring to the family vacation BBQ:

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi: Pickles (one jar as a joke that nobody bothers to open)

Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio: Ice (but he forgets)

Jennifer “JWoww” Farley: Mixers, cups (comes through with OJ, Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite and Crystal Lite plus a large sleeve of red Solo cups)

Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino: His lawyer, hot dog buns (like 4 packs but nobody brings any hot dogs)

Vinny Guadagnino: Sunscreen (which only he uses)

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro: GHP (home brew)

Deena Nicole Cortese: Hamburger meat, hot links, chicken, plates and napkins (shows up late when everybody is already drunk and eating pizza in the hot tub).

Here’s the trailer!

Phew! Since it’s called “Family Vacation” I was afraid Snooki and JWoww were going to bring their kids! Time sure does fly when you’re having contractually obligated fun. Snooki has a whole entire new face! And it was nice of her to offer the materials she had lipoed out of her body to The Sitch’ who, from the looks of it, had injected into his face. And I think Vinny is faking it until he makes it. He looks like he’s been out of that GTL life for a minute and I’m pretty sure he’s pulling a reverse Pygmalion with that accent.

Sad to say, my shameful crush on bronzed nugget Pauly D has been rekindled. I will probably be watching this, but I’ll hate myself in the morning.

Pic: YouTube

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