The new season of American Idol is off to an cringy start despite the fact that they vowed they weren’t going to show any bad auditions. Instead, the premiere episode still made folks squirm and watch through their fingers because of Katy Perry’s big ole sticky icky cherry chapstick biscuit bopper. That’s because 19-year-old contestant Benjamin Glaze got his very first kiss forced on him by Katy during his audition. Problem is, according to a The New York Times, Ben was preserving his mouth virginity for someone special (and also presumably somebody not wearing chain mail and a studded dog collar).
In case you haven’t seen it, here’s Katy’s mouthal assault on Ben and subsequent audition.
Ah yes, the old cheek, psyche mouth move! These days, men are losing their careers for less. Naturally, people began beating the #metoo war drums to the beat of Firework. Still, the kiss was such a viral moment for the show that the NYT came a calling round Ben’s way (Enid, Oklahoma to be exact) to ask him about his experience. Folks, he was shook. You can tell from the video. Who’s going to tell Ben that water won’t wash the away cooties? He’s gonna need a cootie shot at the very least, possibly even a few days on an IV cootie drip. Anyway, Ben told the NYT he did not like it one little bit.
ABC liked it plenty though. Enough to tweet this congratulations to Ben and milk the moment for all it was worth.
This journey has just begun, Benjamin.
— American Idol (@AmericanIdol) March 12, 2018
Young Ben must have gotten a little ringy-dingy from ABC as well because he is the one doing the kissing now. Kissing ABC’s ass that is. Ben posted a clarification on Instagram claiming he was definitely not sexually harassed by Katie and to say how thankful he is to have appeared on Most Wonderful Exemplary Television Program.
Hi everyone, I would like to clear a few things up for anyone who is confused, concerned, or angry. I am not complaining about the kiss from Katy Perry at all, doing a few news reports and being interviewed by many different reporters has caused some major questions. The way certain articles are worded is not done by me, and my true intentions are not accurately represented in every article you read about the situation. I am not complaining about the kiss, I am very honored and thankful to have been apart of American Idol. The main purpose for the show is to find stars and new music artist. I do wish I would have performed better in the moment. I should have picked another song to sing and calmed myself down regardless of the kiss. I should have been able to perform under pressure. I do not think I was sexually harassed by Katy Perry and I am thankful for the judges comments and critiques. I was uncomfortable in a sense of how I have never been kissed before and was not expecting it. My main goal is to reach people through the universal love of music and not cause strife or anger against anyone or about any situation! Please take into consideration that I don’t believe my views have been appropriately communicated through the media! Thank you to everyone who has followed me in this journey and I hope I answered a few questions. . . . . . #americanidol #katyperry #music
In the immortal words of Yakov Smirnoff, “What A Country“!