Matt Damon Might Be Moving His Family To Australia Because Of Trump

March 15, 2018 / Posted by:

As Billy Ocean so eloquently reminds us, when the going gets tough, the tough get on a plane headed to the farthest possible destination. Page Six claims that that’s just what Matt Damon might be doing in #thesetryingtimes; getting the hell out of Dodge and moving his family to Australia. Apparently, Matt’s just bought some property next door to Thor (earth name: Chris Hemsworth) in Byron Bay, New South Wales in order to get some distance between him and the super villain Trump The Terrible.

Page Six reports:

A source exclusively tells Page Six: “Matt’s telling friends and colleagues in Hollywood that he’s moving the family to Australia” because the activist actor disagrees with Trump’s policies.

Yes, like all great activists before him, sounds like Matt’s taking the brave and selfless step of clocking the fuck out. Because why take a knee when you can run away with your tail between them? Page Six’s little birdie added:

“Matt’s saying the move will not impact his work — as he will travel to wherever his projects are shooting. He’s also telling friends he wants to have a safe place to raise his kids.”

Australia? A safe place? Has he seen the size of their fucking spiders?!? Sure, they’ve got sensible gun control laws but they also have snakes, sharks, crocodiles, Russell Crowe and murderous jellyfish!

Page Six also suggests that Matt may also be willing to risk a chance encounter with a grunting Hugh Jackman in order to distance himself from some of the criticism he’s been getting as a result of him running his big dumb mouth too much. And besides, he doesn’t have much work coming up.

Either way, it looks like Damon’s cleared his schedule for the big move Down Under: He’s producing a film version of Agatha Christie’s “Witness for the Prosecution” for Affleck, 45, to star in — but besides a cameo in the upcoming “Ocean’s 8” that’s wrapped, Damon has no major projects lined up as an actor.

But wait, Matt’s publicist tells Gossip Cop that he hasn’t bought a house in Australia and that he’s not permanently moving there.

If Matt Damon moves to Australia and gets murdered by a drop bear and the last thing we have to remember him by is a cameo in Ocean’s 8, maybe this whole Trump presidency will have been worth it all along.


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