There’s a blizzard today in Boston, and it’s probably from the cold day in hell drifting upwards. Cold day in hell? It must be, since Our Lord Tom Man Uggs Hold The Strawberries Brady broke his diet on TV with Stephen Colbert last night. Tom managed to toss back a strawberry AND a pint of beer. Hoo, boy. You know Gisele Bundchen made him take down a belt when he got home so she could whoop his ass.
Tom went on The Late Show last night to promote his The TB12 Method book last night. For those of y’all who don’t know, Tom has one strict as fuck diet. Tom hates the smell of strawberries, and his diet means no white sugar, no white flour, no MSG, no caffeine, no fungus, no dairy, and no nightshades. The no fun part is implied.
For some reason, Tom has the same aversion to strawberries as some people do to anal and once said, “I’ve never eaten a strawberry in my life. I have no desire to do that.” He looked particularly menacing to fruit farmers everywhere when he echoed the sentiment wearing a turtleneck on the talk show. Of course, Stephen couldn’t let it slide and brought out some taboo items from Tom’s diet just to see if he’d take a bite…and a sip:
I get Tom is a god in this part of the country, but that video makes me realize we are just cut from two very different cloths. He makes a grimace and body shake after eating that strawberry in the same way I quiver after having a giant shot of tequila. Firm that wrist, Tom! Stephen also got him to chug a pint of beer in a pretty impressive single gulp. For someone who thinks it’s a wild night if they put extra ginger in a kale smoothie, Tom sure knows how to toss back an IPA. But then I realized, he’s married to a Brazilian model-turned-hippie. Chugging kombucha is likely just nightly foreplay in the Brady-Bündchen house.