I See That Someone (Read: Taylor Swift) Just Watched Christopher Walken In The “Weapon Of Choice” Video 

March 12, 2018 / Posted by:

And it goes without typing, but Christopher Walken danced it better. Shit, Christopher Walken would’ve danced it better if he had two broken legs, a busted hip, paralyzed arms and a stage 10 IBS flare up that was causing his ass to explode.

During last night’s iHeart Radio Music Awards (which happened at the same time as the premiere of the Paula Abdul-less reboot of American Idull starring Tay Tay’s nemesis and NUN KILLER!!! Katy Perry), Taylor bought won the award for female artist of the year, and she wasn’t there to accept it, but she prerecorded her speech and also dropped the video for her new single Delicate. And the Delicate video also confirms that Taylor has dropped the “bad girl who ditches class to vape in the girls” room” image and is back to being the most annoying theater kid in drama class. WARNING: Cringe-inducing dancing ahead!

The theme for Delicate is basically “being famous is hard,” and Taylor Swift plays Taylor Swift who is constantly being looked at and slobbered over, and then her worst nightmare comes true when she becomes invisible! Now, the real Taylor Swift would probably cry herself into a puddle of sad blond hair if no one looked at her anymore, but this Taylor Swift loves it for a minute and dances like no one is watching. And Taylor Swift dancing like no one is watching looks like an alien who just watched Singin’ In The Rain for the first time and is trying to impersonate Gene Kelly.

There’s a scene toward the beginning of the video where Taylor does funny faces in a mirror, and well, Jennifer Lawrence should pull a Taylor Swift and sue a trick for stealing her schtick!

 

 

Comedian/writer Megan Amram should do the same thing because Taylor obviously stole her Twitter icon:

Here’s the full video, which I’m guessing came to be after director Joseph Kahn said to Taylor, “Let’s do the Chandelier video meets that Kenzo perfume commercial meets Britney’s Lucky video, only bad!” It’s like watching a possessed baby ostrich in a rejected Charo dress do the Emma Stone role in a junior high school production of La La Land.

Side note: That hot bald security dude isn’t noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker, it’s noted porn star Kevin Falk.

Hate aside, I thought that the video was mostly harmless… until that sucio ass malfunctioning air dancer went and danced barefoot in the subway and in the gutters!!! Now is the time to buy stock in all the companies who make penicillin, because many a Swifty are going to get all kinds of gross foot diseases from dancing in rat piss and dried hobo cum while recreating this video on Snapchat.

 

Pics: Vevo, YouTube, @meganamram

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