If #thesetryingtimes weren’t super gross and disturbing enough for you already, here comes Fox offering up a steaming shit sundae with a cherry on top. Last night Fox aired a 2006 interview with Orenthal James Simpson called “O.J. Simpson: The Lost Confession?” about the night Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson were brutally murdered. Yes, they had the damn nerve to stick a coy little question mark at the end.
The interview was with publisher Judith Regan about his book If I Did It, which like this interview, was canceled shortly after it was announced. The entire interview was supposed to be O.J. “hypothetically” talking about the night of June 12, 1994 and how he murdered Nicole and Ron IF he murdered Nicole and Ron. But it was pretty much a confession. Here’s a clip of O.J. setting the scene.
Oh that scamp, Charlie! O.J. might have had a few TV and film roles in his heyday but brother cannot act or keep a narrative straight to save his life. And I’m pretty sure he’s just learned what the word “hypothetical” means and it delights him. He was probably all “You mean to tell me I can use this word ‘hypothetical’ and magically I can say whatever I want without consequences?! Well sign me up, hypothetically, of course! *creepy O.J. laugh* *creepy O.J. laugh* *creepy O.J. laugh*”
O.J. continued his story about him and his little inside voice friend “Charlie” (I was not aware that O.J. had The Shining, so that was interesting to learn) going over to Nicole’s to see whatever was going on. “Charlie” and O.J. go over, hypothetically, and, hypothetically park in the an alley and then hypothetically, O.J. put on a wool cap and gloves. O.J. claims that he always keeps a knife in the car “for the crazies and stuff” (cuz you’re not allowed to drive around with a gun, unless you’re running from the cops I guess) and as “they” were getting out of the car he went to grab it and “Charlie” told him not to so he didn’t but then “Charlie” grabbed it anyway. “They” entered the property and encountered Ron. Then, according to TMZ (longer clip in the link):
Simpson says he got angry at Ron — presumably thinking he was there on a date with Nicole — and started screaming at him. Nicole came out, things got heated, she told O.J. to get the f*** off her property, and then he says Nicole fell and hurt herself. In fact, he swung the knife at her and hit her in the face with the blunt end.
Now the confession … Simpson loses the hypo and starts talking very clearly — undeniably — in first person, saying Ron got in a karate stance, O.J. responded, “You think you can kick my ass?” and then he says, “I remember I grabbed the knife.” O.J. eventually checks himself when he realizes he’s talking in first person and actually starts laughing … seriously.
Laughter aside (there is a disturbing about of giggling) O.J. spends a lot of time playing the victim, confesses to having dropped the glove, feebly explains the infamous 911 tape that was played at his trail, says he yelled at Nicole at her gravesite, and is generally blood bloodcurdling creepy. My take: Hypothetically, Charlie is a magically appearing and disappearing apparition and O.J. Simpson is, literally a monster if, hypothetically, monsters walk among us. Which they do. They most certainly do.