Afternoon Crumbs

Here we go with “Poor Miserable Jen: The Sequel….” Star magazine claims that 46-year-old Justin Theroux has already moved on (and may have moved on before he even split from Jennifer Aniston) to 25-year-old artist/photographer/model/sedated Victorian apparition Petra Collins. In nearly every picture I’ve seen of Petra Collins, she looks like she’s sleeping with her eyes open, and that open-eyed comatose face will come in handy for her. Because Justin won’t think anything when she actually falls asleep with her eyes open as he burps out shit about art – Celebitchy

Benedict Cumberbatch looks more like The Grinch than that tragic CGI Grinch does – Lainey Gossip

Casting directors for The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are looking for “strong, self-confident” women to be on the show. If they’re looking for that, they need to fire all of those boring messes and replace them with Joan Collins, Linda Evans, Diahann Carroll, Stephanie Beacham and Kate O’Mara, and finally give us the proper Dynasty revival we all deserve – Reality Tea

Thanks to Bermuda banning marriage equality, they aren’t going to see a dime of Ellen DeGeneres’ money – Towleroad

Posh Beckham looks like a lady Darth Vader if lady Darth Vader lived on the prairie – Drunken Stepfather

“Hello, welcome to the Circus Gangster Cafe, I am Margot and I’ll be your sever this evening.” – Popoholic

Kristen Wiig is officially playing Cheetah in the Wonder Woman sequel – Pajiba

It’s a damn shame that Shape Magazine scrubbed the raver lot lizard elegance off of Bella Thorne – Hollywood Tuna

Judith Regan claims that O.J. Simpson was ready to admit the obvious – IndieWire 

NOT CLAIRE’S! It may soon be the end of an era, and you’ll have to find a new place in the mall to catch an ear lobe infection after getting them pierced – Jezebel

Pic: Wenn.com