What the 2018 Winter Olympics was really missing (besides Steve Langton pulling a Pita Taufatofua by showing up topless, oiled-up and ready to go at the closing ceremonies) was 28-year-old Adam Rippon and 33-year-old Johnny Weir skating hand-in-hand onto the ice in matching sequined catsuits and twirling in unison to an acoustic, haunting version of Lindsay Lohan’s Rumors as a response to Page Six saying that Johnny is the Cristal Connors to Adam’s Nomi Malone. But Adam and Johnny never dropped a load of glittery shit onto that rumor, and that could be because there was some truth to it.
The current reigning it gay of the Winter Olympics continued his media parade through America as our new sweetheart by doing Watch What Happens Live with silicone’d bottle of Barefoot Pink Moscato Brandi Glanville. During the after-show, a caller brought up the Page Six rumor that The Crystal Enchantress of the Ice busted out a sparkling tornado of rage over Adam getting so much attention at the Winter Olympics. The caller asked if there was some truth to it, and Adam said that things were off between the two in PyeongChang.
Adam: Um, maybe.
Andy Cohen: Really?
Adam: I think maybe. But you know what, I’m not coming for his job, I’m not coming for his gig.
Andy: What were your interactions?
Adam: We didn’t really have any. We didn’t really have any interactions, and like, we’ve always reached out to each other and I’ve always, like, thanked him. Because I’ve always felt like he helped to make my way a little bit easier.
Brandi: But it’s like when there’s a new Housewife, everyone gets a little jealous. That’s all it is.
Andy: Thank you for putting it into a perspective we can all understand.
Adam was apparently offered an NBC correspondent gig during the Winter Olympics (he says he turned it down), and he told Andy last night that he has no plans to try to snatch away Johnny’s rhinestone headset.
Also during his time on WWHL last night, Adam said that Mike Pence’s people haven’t reached out to him yet (but he’d talk to Pence) and that what he looks for in a man is someone who goes to the gym and has a job. Brandi piped in with, “He needs a rough top.”
Wait, hold up.
So Adam wants a man who owns a gym membership, gets a regular paycheck and is possibly a rough top. Look no more, bitch. When you punch in “works out,” “employed” and “rough top” into the gay match calculator, this comes up:
I hear you catty bitches saying, “The only kind rough shit Adam and Johnny would get into would be bruising their ass cheeks from bumping asses.” But please, Johnny is obviously a power top, and I’m sure he really pounds rough when you talk to him dirty by saying something like, “You know Johnny, I wasn’t really into the last outfit you posted on Instagram.”
Here’s Adam Rippon talking about Johnny Weir possibly being jealous of his come up:
Pic: Bravo via YouTube