Dust off those pre-written “Bey dumps Jay!” stories, tabloid editors! Word has it Beyoncé and Jay-Z are going back on tour this summer, and – as we all know – nothing packs in the Rose Bowl like a Jay-is-stepping-out rumor!
People says someone at Ticketmaster is likely getting tarred and feathered today because the company’s British site showed a landing page for “Beyoncé and Jay-Z tickets.” It’s been deleted, but Live tweeted a photo that showed tour dates in Philadelphia:
— LIVE music blog (@livemusicblog) March 5, 2018
The Beyhive is already descending upon Coachella en masse since Queen B is headlining, so I’m sure their collective checking accounts are sobbing knowing that they are now expected to be summer groupies on this tour, a follow-up to the 2014 On The Run tour. A snitch gave a few details:
“They will tour together starting this summer. They are incredibly excited. It took a lot of work to make this happen. It’s the best choice for their family.”
The last tour was said to be around the time Bey was ready to tell Jay “Boy, bai” since he was allegedly hanging around Becky with the good hair. It seemed like each stop in the tour came with a press release that ‘Yoncé was employing an armada of real estate brokers to find her a new House of Deréon, so naturally people turned out in droves to see if “Crazy In Love” included Bey pushing Jay and his two-timing peen off the stage. Alas, she didn’t, and the only thing pushed was the balance in their joint-checking account (waaaaay up).
Those two have been on a “We are family!” tour as of late, showing up to the Grammys to show how Bey can be a juice box-holding mom in couture, so I don’t really know what kind of stunt they’ll pull this time around. They’ve used the divorce rumors already… So I’m guessing that they’ll announce that their opening act will be Blue Ivy and The Chosen Twins, and the three of them will just sit on stage counting their money for 45 minutes straight. The tour will sell out in five seconds.