Archives: February 2018
Only God Can Make Oprah Run For President
West Coasters, be on the lookout for a team of scientists wheeling a lightning machine up the road to make some fake sky pyrotechnics in the name of G-O-D outside Oprah’s Montecito mansion. Mama O says the only thing that will make her enter the hornet’s nest of presidential politics is if the man (or lady!) upstairs gives her a clear sign. Continue reading
Kevin Smith Was Very Worried About His Small Dick During His Heart Attack Ordeal
Kevin Smith went on Facebook Live to offer more details about his heart attack and it turns out the only thing scarier to Kevin than death itself, is the thought of people looking at his little dick. And since he had to get crotch shaved like John Cena to get a life-saving LAD stent put in, a whole bunch of people got a good look at his tootsie roll. And now you’ve pictured it too, and for that I’m terribly sorry.
Some Hollywood Publicists Have Planned To Keep Their Clients Away From Ryan Seacrest On The Oscars Red Carpet
Ryan Seacrest hasn’t had such a great time in the press this week. Suzie Hardy – the former wardrobe stylist who first came forward with sexual harassment allegations against him – decided to spill the alleged details to Variety. The allegations ranged from unwanted romantic attention all the way up to crotch-grabbing and boner-rubbing. Ryan’s attorney released a statement accusing Suzie of a $15 million shake down, and Ryan himself followed that up by releasing his own statement. Still, the allegations may keep celebrities from wanting to talk to him at the Oscars on Sunday.
Armie Hammer Took Another Swipe At A BuzzFeed Writer In Defense Of Jennifer Lawrence
Armie Hammer woke up and reached for the cranky pants that are too tight in the crotch again yesterday and #tooktotwitter to pop off at his number one enemy, that damn woman from BuzzFeed! Senior culture writer Anne Helen Peterson (whose post last November titled Ten Long Years Of Trying To Make Armie Hammer Happen made Armie want to throw his dolly at the nanny and led him to quit briefly quit Twitter) opined on a Vanity Fair interview with Jennifer Lawrence and Armie took offense.
InTouch Says That Miranda Lambert And Anderson East Are Done
A source tells InTouch that 34-year-old Miranda Lambert and 29-year-old Anderson East “grew apart” while on separate tours and broke up after two years together. And despite the fact that Anderson East has the name recognition that sits between “Who?” to “I think I’ve driven through that township before” he’s the one who broke up with her and she “didn’t see it coming.” But Miranda isn’t curled up in a hammock with an extra-hard hard lemonade, cursing Anderson’s name and hating on 1/4th of the directions on a compass. The source adds that she has thrown herself into work by writing songs, and that she “refuses to sit around feeling sorry for herself.”
However, another source insists that Anderson didn’t do the dumping, but didn’t deny that hooking up with Miranda was good for his career.
“Dating Miranda took him to the top of the musical A-list,” says the source.
I guess the music industry works on some kind of backwards alphabet system now that I wasn’t previously aware of.
Whoever blabbed to InTouch about Anderson not being the dumper deserves points for trying, but the gesture was futile. Miranda is going on tour with Little Big Town in July. Taylor Swift wrote one of Little Big Town’s biggest hits, “Better Man.” So basically, Miranda is just one degree removed Taylor Swift, which is not a good position to be in if you just broke up with someone. All it’s going to take is Miranda dialing up Taylor to say, “I heard you know your way around a breakup song,” and Taylor responding, “What are you thinking – I hate you, or like, I really hate you. I’ve got both, take your pick.”
Pic: Wenn.com
A Sneak Peek Of Alec Baldwin’s New Talk Show Will Air After The Oscars On Sunday
If you’re anything like me, Sunday nights already fill you with a creeping sense of dread accompanied by a lingering film of anxiety and malaise. So when ABC announced that it just picked up 8 episodes of Sundays With Alec, an hour long interview show modeled after Alec Baldwin‘s podcast with a premiere to be aired immediately following the Academy Awards, I just went ahead and slit my wrists preemptively. I’m a ghost now and frankly, I think it’s for the best.