Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 26, 2018 / Posted by:

Olive Garden’s Meatball Pizza Bowl!

It’s been a couple of years since the gourmet emporium of highly authentic Italian cuisine had pizza on their menu, but they made up for it by barfing up an artery-clogging abomination that looks like what a pizza would shit out if it had bowels and an asshole. Olive Garden’s Meatball Pizza Bowl is made up of a pizza dough crust bowl filled with sauce, cheese and meatballs. It’s like queso fundido’s monstrous Italian third cousin. It’s like the Jersey Shore cast in food form. And just like the Jersey Shore cast, you’ll probably get a major case of the tsunami shits after eating it.

The picture above is how the Meatball Pizza Bowl looks in Olive Garden’s styled Photoshopped ads, and below is what it looks like in real-life. It looks like a prolapsed anus, and yes, I still would.

What’s really weird about OG’s Meatball Pizza Bowl is that they’re only selling it during lunchtime on weekdays. So it’s perfect for those of you who want to spend the rest of your post-lunch workday lying in your cubicle like a comatose sloth while trying to work up the energy to snort crushed Tums to kill the burn in your heart area. Whoever came up with the idea to only sell that pizza abortion during weekday lunch hours has obviously never heard of a people called drunks and stoners. Because if OG stayed open 24 hours and sold their Meatball Pizza Bowl all of the time, they’d shoot up Forbes’ Most Profitable American Companies list faster than a drunk mess could slur scream at their Lyft driver to take them to the nearest Olivurrr Gurrdens.

Pic: Olive Garden

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