And Heather’s got another broke down, tragic mug shot to add to her collection. And this one screams “hungover me waking up having to piss 45 minutes before my alarm goes off and trying to decide whether I should get up or just stay in bed”
The last time I wrote about Heather Locklear, she was laid up in the hospital after driving her Porsche into a ditch in Thousand Oaks, CA. That was last year. Well, Heather Locklear may have gotten out of that ditch, but it looks like her personal life stayed there, because shit is still a mess. TMZ says that 56-year-old Heather was busted by the cops at her home in Thousand Oaks for allegedly beating up her boyfriend. And if that wasn’t already a 9-layer shit cake of tragicness, Heather added another layer by allegedly attacking a cop. Sammy Jo Carrington getting arrested for domestic abuse and battery on a cop gets 5 out of 5 “Oh, Sammy Jo, you wreck” from Aunt Krystle.
TMZ got a hold of the 911 call, which tells the story of how Heather’s brother, Mark Locklear, showed up to her house last night and walked into a fight between her and her boyfriend. The fight was so bad that Mark called 911. When the cops showed up, they saw a “visible mark” on Heather’s boyfriend, so they tried to arrest her. But Heather wasn’t going down without busting out another act of pure fuckery. The cops say that while they were trying to arrest her, she got crazy by flailing around and kicking. She struck 3 deputies. They eventually put her into handcuffs and took her to a hospital for “evaluation.” I’m taking that to mean she either got bruised while beating everyone up, or she was on some shit again.
The Blast says that cops took Heather in on felony domestic violence and 3 counts of misdemeanor battery on emergency personnel. She was arrested a little before 10:30pm and booked at 1:03am. She was released back into the wild at 5:48am after posting bail. She has to show up in court on March 13.
The name of the boyfriend Heather allegedly whooped hasn’t been released, but a source tells The Daily Mail that it’s her high school sweetheart Chris Heisser. Chris is supposedly a con man contractor who served two years in the clink for forging his clients’ name on construction loan documents and swindling them out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Heather and Chris have gotten into messy tussles in the past, and it was rumored that she beat him up right before she crashed her Porsche into a ditch last year.
Heather has been arrested for DUI before, and last year, she went to rehab for the fifth time for her addiction to booze and pills. In 2012, she was accused of punching then-boyfriend Jack Wagner in the face during a fight where they both got violent on each other. Neither side wanted to press charges.
Expect Heather to release a statement saying she’s going back to rehab for the sixth time. And if she does go back to rehab, hopefully her counselor will show her the documentary Melrose Place and she’ll learn that beating up a boyfriend isn’t an Amanda Woodward thing to do. Amanda Woodward would never do that. If Amanda Woodward wanted to get back at a boyfriend who she felt did her wrong, she’d fake her death and pin her murder on him. Someone teach her this!
UPDATE: And this wreck of a situation just got messier. TMZ says that Chris Heisser is the boyfriend who Heather allegedly beat, and he got arrested for DUI on the 101 freeway just a couple of hours after she was busted.
Pics: Ventura County Sheriff’s Department, ABC