Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 25, 2018 / Posted by:

The spotlight-stealing attention whore squirrel who crashed the women’s parallel giant slalom snowboarding event at the Winter Olympics yesterday!

Yesterday, I paid tribute to the dainty jewelry box ballerina who gracefully leaped onto the ice and brought some much-needed elegance and art to the 1,000-meter speed skating event in PyeongChang on Friday. And today, I’m paying tribute to another gold medal-winning event crasher who managed to make an Olympic event all about them.

While Austrian snowboarder Daniela Ulbing was doing her run during the parallel giant slalom event, a pesky ass squirrel jumped in front of her. Either that squirrel was hired by a rival to sabotage Daniela (I didn’t know that Tonya Harding was competing at PyeongChang as a parallel giant slalom snowboarder) or that fluffy attention whore will do whatever it takes (even risk DEATH!) to get some camera time. The squirrel ran in front of Daniela’s board and was nearly taken out before it stopped and did the OH SHIT! shuffle by reversing. The squirrel didn’t fuck up Daniela’s flow, and she kept on, kept on.

Ester Ledecká of the Czech Republic took gold in that event, making her the first woman to win gold medals in different sports at the same Winter Olympics (she also won gold in Alpine skiing). Two German snowboarders took silver, and bronze. Daniela Ulbing ended up in seventh place. And that squirrel’s South Korean squirrel friends probably threw it a parade and a party for fucking with those annoying ass humans who took over their land during the Olympics. That squirrel made them proud.

Pic: @NBCOlympics

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