We all know the Spice Girls got together a few weeks ago to figure out how to squeeze a few Benjis out of their legion of fans who would rather spend their dollars and pounds to hear middle-aged ladies sing “Spice Up Your Life” in lieu of making a mortgage payment. Initially, it sounded like they were just going to hawk Spice Girls merchandise and make a few TV appearances, but then it looked like they were going to embark on a concert tour. Victoria Beckham tried to say there would be no tour, but now a new report says there is definitely a tour happening. Who is lying here?! Is Posh getting replaced with a mop, and everybody forgot to let her know?!
TMZ is doubling down on those tour rumors. They say Mel B signed on the dotted line Friday, and the other members did, too. This contract outlines the number and locations of concerts (said to be just in the U.S. and U.K.) and payment. Just last week, Posh told Vogue “I’m not going on tour. The girls aren’t going on tour.” Maybe she isn’t lying! Maybe in the Beckham fantasia where she resides, “tour” is synonymous with traveling to at LEAST three or more countries on a jet fueled by Ginger Spice’s hairspray fumes.
Vicky B also said her future did not include jumping into a catsuit, so I guess this means the girls will be ditching that in favor of the Victoria Beckham 2019 ready-to-wear line so Posh’s Pinocchio nose doesn’t grow any further. Even if she isn’t ready to stand next to Ginger in a Union Jack dress, money talks, and it sounds like the gals are going to bring in a hefty haul from the two-country non-tour and merchandise. Keep calm, Posh, and carry on just thinking of all the cash you’re going to make off not singing and Ginger Spice gingersnaps and whatever else y’all hawk at the merch tent!