Open Post: Hosted By Peter Rabbit, An Ass Crack, And A Carrot….

February 12, 2018 / Posted by:

You know where this is going…

We’re living in a time when the ~eDgieSt~ and most controversial movie out isn’t the movie that’s supposed to be about BDSM (although, it’s not hard to be edgier than Fifty Shits Feed since that mess is about as edgy a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs). The most controversial movie out is Peter Fucking Rabbit.

Peter Rabbit is currently #2 at the domestic box office, but if a bunch of OUTRAGED parents get their wish, it will quickly slide into the gutter of flop movies where it belongs. CNN says that parents of children with life-threatening allergies are boycotting Peter Rabbit for allergy-shaming. There’s a scene where Peter Rabbit and his friends pretty much try to kill their rival Mr. McGregor by launching blackberries into his mouth with a slingshot. Mr.McGregor is allergic to blackberries so he goes into anaphylactic shock and has to stab himself with an EpiPen. The Kids With Food Allergies Foundation think it wasn’t not funny for the movie to make fun of food allergies like that. Sony has apologized, but it seems like the scene is staying.

Meanwhile, as everyone RAGES over Peter Rabbit being a cunty allergy-shaming piece of fluffy trash, I’m over here wondering why nobody seems to be talking about Peter Rabbit ass raping a human with a carrot. I didn’t know that Darren Aronofsky ghost-directed the Peter Rabbit movie.

The butt fuck carrot scene is in the trailer, and it looks like Peter Rabbit shoved it up the culo of Thomas McGregor (played by Domhnall Gleeson), but Slant said in their review that the poor dude who gets an ass crack full of carrot is actually Sam Neill.

Peter’s right. This film is an unapologetic vulgarization of its source material, turning Potter’s mischievous little scamp into a wise-cracking Poochie-style bad boy who can’t help himself from dropping a carrot down Mr. McGregor’s (Sam Neill) exposed butt crack.

Vulture said that Peter doesn’t actually stick the carrot down Sam Neill’s ass crack, but he tries to. The hell kind of GD Peter Rabbit movie is this?

Sony needs to apologize for that too. Not only did they ruin Peter Rabbit, but they ruined carrots for me. I’m never ever going to be able to kiss on a carrot (while pretending that it’s Carrot Top) again, because I’m going to think of Peter Rabbit using one to butt fuck Dr. Alan Grant from Jurassic Park.

Pic: @BabarSTV

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