Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 12, 2018 / Posted by:

The Shape of Water dildo!

It was only a matter of time before someone heard the pleas of aspiring fish fuckers everywhere by making a dildo based on what they think the fish man from The Shape of Water’s dick looks like. As everyone knows by now, The Shape of Water is fish porn masquerading as an arty sci-fi fantasy movie starring Sally Hawkins and Doug Jones as the fish man she lets fill her up with fish jizz (that’s one way to get your Omega-3s) in her bathroom.

During the movie, Elisa, Sally Hawkins’ character, lets Zelda, Octavia Spencer’s character, know that she did human-on-fish fuck times with her fishy lovah. Zelda doesn’t do what anybody should do, which is immediately pull a CITIZEN’S ARREST on her friend for committing bestiality. Instead Zelda wonders, “HOW?”, and Elisa does a motion with her hands that tells us her fish man has a trap door on his crotch that his peen flops out of. We don’t ever see fish man’s fish dick in a box, but Etsy sci-fi dildo maker XenoCatArtifacts imagined what it would look like. Their Shape of Water dildo is after the cut, and Tiger Woods’ doctor would probably look at it and say, “Hmm, where have I seen that diseased-looking moldy peen before?”

io9 says that XenoCatArtifacts’ limited-edition Shape of Water fish dick dildo is fully functional and glows under UV light. The first ones they made sold out, but more are coming, so that’s great news for any kinky ho who really wants to bone themselves with something that looks like a melted curved candle.

https://xenocatartifacts.tumblr.com/post/169492042641/revamped-and-ready-to-rumble-heres-the-final

It’s things like this that make me so happy to live in this world today. And this probably makes Kanye “Gay Fish” West happy too, because he no longer has to fuck himself with fish sticks.

Pic: Fox Searchlight

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