Open Post: Hosted By The Too-Sexy-For-The-Olympics Ice Dancing Lift

February 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Scott Moir and Tessa Virture are a three-time Olympic medal-winning ice dancing duo from Canada, and they’re currently battling it out against other ice dancers in their final Winter Olympics in PyeongChang. Before they went off to South Korea, they won their eighth national title, and at nationals they did a Moulin Rouge-themed free-skate that included a lift I’m assuming is called The Pull Over Pussy Munch. Yes, that’s the exact technical name, I’m sure. Sadly, that lift won’t be seen at the Olympics.

At the 2:24 mark in the video below, watch as Tessa gracefully flips into Scott’s arms and then climbs up onto his shoulders to give him a face full of Spandex crotch. It only lasted for a few seconds, which I’m told is the average amount of time for a man to put his face on a lady’s down-low part. If I was a judge, I would’ve immediately written “GET IT, GIRL”  on my white card and held it up.

Scott and Tessa are doing their Moulin Rouge routine at the Olympics, but they’ve cut their extremely elegant cooze-eating lift. They told the Toronto Star that the routine is supposed to be “edgy,” but Moir and Virtue looked at it again and decided that it needed more virtue.

“What it came down to actually was that when we slowed it down and looked on the video, it wasn’t aesthetically that beautiful of a position, so we wanted to change it, make it a little bit better.”

That’s good, because the eyes of the children around the world would’ve exploded from being hit with the sinful sight of two Canadian ice dancers doing a G-rated cunnilinguslift. Moir and Virtue said that they’ve changed the lift, and I’m guessing they changed it to this:

I agree that they should change the program. But I don’t agree in them taking out that gracefully beautiful lift. Instead, they should make the most of it by ice dancing to Khia’s My Neck, My Back (Lick It). “Not since Torvill and Dean’s Bolero have we seen such grace” is what every judge would say.

Pic: YouTube

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