New Internet Theory Alert: Sam Smith And Adele Are The Same Person

February 9, 2018 / Posted by:

The C.I.A. (computer investigation alliance), that secret cabal of internet sleuths who cracked the case of the Melania Trump body double WIDE OPEN, have made an exciting new discovery! Have you ever noticed that you’ve never seen Sam Smith and Adele together in the same room? Didn’t think so. Are you sitting down? A Twitter user has proof that Adele and Sam are actually the person!

According to The Huffington Post, the earth shattering theory was first proposed by a Twitter user with a lot of time on their hands. They learned that by slowing down Adele’s hit “Hello”, the truth reveals itself. Twitterer and acting chief of the C.I.A. Jesse Valona said:

“I forget the exact action of the realization. But both Sam Smith and Adele were played on my speakers at some point that day. Then when I slowed it down, I just knew it sounded very elegant, like Sam Smith’s voice, and decided to share it with the world.”

Here’s what will surely become known as our generation’s Zapruder film.

Need further proof? Here’s exhibit B which will surely become known as our generation’s Three Men and A Baby ghost.

Did I also hear Sam/Adele say “Paul is dead“!?!? This is some seriously scary shit. Huffpo confirms that there are no pictures of the two together.

Indeed, a Google Image search of the terms “Adele” and “Sam Smith” throws up no images of the pair together, in the same place at the same time.

What witchery is afoot here? Now that I think about it, Sam and Adele’s music really does sound the same. I can imagine getting my teeth cleaned to either artist and not be able to tell you which one it was at the end. Unfortunately, the C.I.A. may have to go back to investigating less important matters because a rogue agent has offered a rebuttal. Have a listen!

And just like that, another mystery is solved. OR IS IT? We need to lock Adele in a room and wait to see how long it takes her to grow a George Michael beard. Either that or leave the detecting to the real professionals!

Pic: CBS/Wenn.com

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