Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Since the planet is filled with endless supplies of Hot Slut of the Days, I try not to repeat unless the former HSOTD has gone above and beyond to earn another stamp of Hot Slut honor. And former HSOTM Pita Taufatofua went above and beyond by risking hypothermia of the nipples to give the people another oiled-up topless show at the Winter Olympics opening ceremony in PyeongChang today.

At the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio, Pita made thirsty hos everywhere say to themselves, “I want that Pita to stuff the pita in my pants,” when he hit the opening ceremony stroll with four bottles of baby oil slathered all over his muscled-up torso. Pita carried the flag of his country, Tonga, and competed in taekwondo. Pita didn’t come close to medaling in taekwondo, but he did win the gold medal in the sport of making tricks squirt out a panty pudding geyser. And Pita is at it again, thank God.

It was reported last month that Pita was working on the reboot of Cool Runnings by training for cross-country skiing in his country, even though it never snows there. Pita was training on roller blades in Tonga before going on to New Zealand and Canada to train in the actual snow, which he only saw for the first time two years ago. Pita qualified, and will be the second Tongan to compete at the Winter Olympics.

Ever since Pita qualified, one question has been running through my mind like a never-ending news ticker and that’s: Is Pita going to go topless is Pita going to go topless is Pita is going to go topless is Pita going to go topless. Pita answered that question, AND HOW, today by carrying his country flag while wearing a taʻovala and three gallons of lube.

It was reportedly AssFuckingCold Fahrenheit (or 22 degrees, if you want to get technical) in PyeongChang during the opening ceremonies. So Pita already won by saying “fuckit” to the possibility of getting frostbitten nips to proudly represent his country and also give us hard-up hos a wet nipple show. Now that is a true Olympian!

Pic: AP

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