Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 7, 2018 / Posted by:

Betty Crocker’s Gelooze!

*Trigger Warning* – If the word “squirt” is your “moist,” avoid this post, because I do not want to be responsible for you heaving your guts out.

There’s not much information on the history of Gelooze, and for the longest time I thought it was called Jell-O Squirts, which sounds like the name of a fetish featured on an episode of HBO’s Real Sex in the 90s. Gelooze was made by Betty Crocker and it was sold during the squeeze drink era of the 90s.

When I was a kid, I’d take Jello-O in any state. I’d lick and snort the Jell-O powder. I’d drink hot Jell-O juice in a mug after it was dissolved in boiling water. And I was that nasty piece of little trash who would open up the refrigerator and use a spoon to scoop up halfway done Jell-O, and I’d double dip (how my mom didn’t drop me off in the woods and leave me there is beyond me). Gelooze was sort of like halfway done Jell-O in a bottle. The king of the squirts (not to be confused with Peter North), Squeeze-It, was also a Betty Crocker product, and it was more like liquid while Gelooze was gel-ish.

Reporters from The Chicago Tribune did a review of all the squirt drinks in 1994, and it seems like they loved Gelooze!

Gelooze (Betty Crocker, $2.59 a six-pack): Ugh. The only kids we found who liked these were really young, like 3 and 4. The 7.25-ounce drink comes in four basic flavors, like Orange and Cherry. It’s goopy, and if you freeze it, the stuff won’t come out until it totally melts. As a drink it’s an F. (But hey, you might like it as candy.)

Those reporters were obviously ride or die Jell-O fans and were gelooze of Betty Crocker making a better Jell-O drink than Kraft! Gelooze didn’t last long, so now if you want to get your halfway done Jell-O fix, you gotta spoon it out of the bowl in the refrigerator… and that should remind you to never eat Jell-O at my house unless you like yours infused with spit. And you might. Kinky bitch.

Pic: Dinosaur Dracula 

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