Because we as humans always focus on things that are highly importantly in this world, many have been spending their time on trying to figure out what Kylie Jenner named her new daughter. Kylie and her man Travis Scott (government name: Jacques Webster) are really into butterflies (he’s got a song called Butterfly Effect and they’ve got matching butterfly tattoos), so some figured that they’d give their child a butterfly name. Like Butterfly or Monarch or Mariposa (Spanish for butterfly). But instead of going that route, Kylie and Travis gave their daughter the name of a stripper who’s got a butterfly tattoo on her lower back.
I was hoping that Kylie would give her kid a butterfly name, because I wanted the Kartrashians to feel the rhinestone-encrusted wrath of Mariah Carey. But Kylie announced today that her daughter’s name is Stormi. You’re probably wondering why the Kartrashians would let Kylie name her baby Stormi while Stormy Daniels is taking up the news, but please. How can those Kartrashians know about current events while their heads are stick up their asses? Anyway, presenting Stormi Webster, which sounds like the name of a local news weather girl:
The good news is that it looks like Kylie hasn’t taken a filler needle to baby Stormi’s lips yet (I mean, things are Stormi with a chance of lip fillers). The bad news is that it looks like Stormi was unable to keep Kylie from using her hands to write the name “Stormi” on the birth certificate. Stormi is internally screaming, “Please, don’t write Stormi on the birth certificate!“, in that pic, right? I don’t really mind the name Stormi, and mostly because it sounds like the name of a lost member of The Misfits.
And Pimp Grandma Kris is probably loving that name and think it’s fitting, because she’s hoping Stormi’s presence will make it rain more MONAY on her.