The Eagles fans who redefined romance on the streets of Philadelphia after the Super Bowl when the dude proposed to the lady as she held onto a 40!
The Philadelphia Eagles won their first ever Super Bowl last night, and I figured that their fans back home would quietly celebrate by toasting with a cheesesteak before finishing a cup of herbal tea (with a spoonful of Philadelphia cream cheese, in it of course) and going to bed early while softly humming the chorus to Philadelphia Freedom. But in a shocking turn of events, Eagles fans celebrated their team’s win by turning the city into some shit out of The Purge. They wreaked drunken bro havoc. They turned over cars. They murdered poor, innocent trees. They almost died while fucking a traffic light. They looted a gas station. They set shit on fire. And they turned themselves into equine scat queens by eating actual horse shit off the street (the reboot of Equus is dark as fuck). Note to protesters: If you don’t want the police to gas you or shoot you while you’re peacefully protesting, just get drunk and wear a sports jersey.
But in the middle of all that tree homicide and sucio horse caca-eating, there were moments of sweetness and romance. During all the boozed-up bro chaos, a blossom of romantic love sprouted up in the streets. Sports reporter Max Rappaport tweeted a video of a man getting on one knee to propose to his lady love who was holding a 40-ounce of Olde English. Sure, they could’ve just met, and he could’ve proposed with an Olde English cap, and they may have forgotten about the engagement this morning, but for one touching second, the scent of romance swept through the bro barf fumes. ROMANCE is your man proposing to you after the Super Bowl as you’re holding a 40. But really, I’m sure this is how all proposals in Philadelphia go down:
OMG A MAN JUST PROPOSED!!! pic.twitter.com/6cyMnifgh5
— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018
And not only did she hold on tight to that 40 of Olde English (aka the Andre of malt liquors aka the nectar of romance), but she didn’t spill a drop of it. Hell, I want to marry her for that.