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February 4, 2018 / Posted by:

Prince’s 2007 Super Bowl halftime extravaganza!

Your bathroom counter is definitely covered with an enema kit and several bottles of Pepto-Bismol, because you’re going to need to soothe your guts with a pink enema after mouth-vacuuming up nachos, tater skins, tater tot casserole, blue cheese and hot wings stew, and anything else found on a T.G.I. Friday’s happy hour menu, and that could mean only one thing: It’s time to watch a double feature of Puppy Bowl XIV the first ever Dog Bowl!!!

But while most of us will watch America’s greatest sporting event, some weirdos are going to watch that much lesser and a zillion times more boring sporting event in Minneapolis, Minnesota. And since the Super Boring Bowl is going down in Minneapolis this year, it’s only fitting that we pay tribute to the purple diamond of Minnesota’s halftime spectacular from 2007.

While some people are bracing themselves for the scandalous sight of Tom Brady tearfully mouth-kissing his sons to make him feel better after losing hard (PLEASE LET TOM BRADY LOSE!), others were bracing themselves for the blasphemous sight of this year’s halftime performer Justin Timberlake performing with a Prince hologram. TMZ said that JT’s performance was going to include a Prince hologram. That made people RAGE and for good reason, because trick ain’t even good enough to perform with a worn-out Prince glitter sticker from 1986.

Shiela E tweeted that Prince specifically told her to never let anyone make a hologram of him. And Sheila E apparently let a bitch know, because she later tweeted that there will be no Prince hologram. In other words, JT hit the delete button on his planned Prince hologram after figuring out that if he actually went through with that mess, a swarm of doves would attack his ass.

There’s still apparently going to be some kind of Prince tribute during JT’s performance. The only way to respond to that is with PrinceIsSexilyDigusted.GIF. Because JT once dissed Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness for dissing SexyBack. So instead of showing JT’s Prince tribute, which no one wants, they should just show the 2007 Super Bowl performance from the purple rhinestone-encrusted legend himself.

Prince was the star of the Super Bowl XLI halftime show in Miami Gardens, FL on February 4, 2007, and while yodeling out “Let’s Go Crazy,” “Baby I’m A Star,” “Proud Mary,” and “Purple Rain” on a neon-lit Love Symbol-shaped stage, he was hit with rain and wind. Prince was about the size of a ladybug’s eyelash, so you know he had to keep it solid as the wind threatened to blow his ass into the next county. And he did it all in heels!

Cheesy ass people probably said that the rain was from God crying over Prince’s talent, but the rain was actually from the sexiest angels in heaven crying over how they’ll never be as sexy as this:

If that was Justin Timberlake, he would’ve cut it short and ran off the stage while screaming about how the rain fucked up his hair and beauty game.

Pic: YouTube

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