Much like her former boss, Kim Kardashian is attempting to dominate the cheap fragrance game. Hot on the heels of her last fragrance (the one that looks like a fake-crystal dildo), she’s released three new scents for Valentine’s Day. And because Kim is such a good friend, she’s sending out bottles as Valentines to all her friends and family. But Kim is also extremely petty, which means she’s sending them to her enemies too.
Kim showed off who will get one of her three fragrances (Bae, BFF, Ride of Die) on Instagram. On the right, in the turquoise stickies, are the names you might find on Kim’s shit list: Sharon Osbourne (who once called Kim a ho), Bette Midler, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Pink (who have all told Kim to put some clothes on), Chelsea Handler (who blamed the Ks for Donald Trump’s election win), Taylor Swift (for obvious reasons), and Blac Chyna (see previous).
Getting a cheap bottle of Kim’s Eau de Toilet Water is nothing; her haters could just call a HAZMAT crew to come and do a proper chemical disposal the second it arrives. But Kim is much more diabolical than that. Kim decided to send her fragrance in a giant chocolate heart filled with candy that has to be smashed open with a wooden mallet. Smashing Kim’s goodies with wood? That’s extremely on-brand. Here’s Kris Jenner, who was the recipient of a Bae package.
So far, none of Kim’s “haters” have Instagrammed their gifts. So who even knows what they’ll end up receiving. Maybe Kim will fill their chocolate hearts with rat turds? Honestly, I’m not sure that’s worse than accidentally smashing the fragrance bottle with that mallet and getting her cheap perfume everywhere.