Justin Timberlake seems to be confused. Not only does he seem to think “birthday haircuts” are a thing, he also thinks we’re all dummies for assuming Man of The Woods is a country album. Justin is in Minnesota right now prepping for his big Super Bowl halftime show and it was his birthday yesterday so he’s being really extra. In a video posted to Instagram, Justin fusses in his barber chair like a toddler at Snip-Its waiting on his post trim lolly and admonishes us, the public, for misconstruing his artistic intent.
Here’s Justin’s video message.
Christine is so over this but being the professional she clearly is, she patiently deals with Justin’s squirmy pee-pee dance and gets the job done. She knows it doesn’t matter because he’s just going to put his little lumberjack beanie on top of it as soon as she’s done anyway.
Ok so, Justin: STOP. You did this, not us! You’re telling us that the entire MOTW song and dance was because you picked your son’s name using a free baby naming app? Don’t piss on my foot and tell me that it’s raining! You’re the one who went to Kohl’s and cleared out their entire Boys Flannel Shirts collection. You’re the one who ran through a cord field shouting about “MY HERITAGE” while trying to do a half-assed rain dance. If you wanted to make another album full of silly dance jams you could have done just that without the ham-fisted MOTW rebirth narrative. We can’t help it if your identity crisis is confusing as hell. It is exhausting. Christine, please give this child his “Grape Job” sticker and get him out of there so we can all move on with our lives.