Archives: January 2018
Diane Lane And Greg Kinnear Join The Last Season Of “House Of Cards”
Nobody is safe on House Of Cards. You either (SPOILER ALERT) get fucked and chucked in front a subway, fucked and whacked in a desert, or fucked to death by the fireplace. In short, never have sexual intercourse on House Of Cards, or you’re going to die. The cast roster always has to get replenished on the show, especially now that Kevin Spacey was fired for his alleged predatory behavior, and Diane Lane and Greg Kinnear will be picking up where Kev, Neve Campbell, and a laundry list of others left off. Continue reading
Turns Out “Left Shark” Was Just Pulling Our Fin All Along
I don’t need to tell you that the number one rule of the high seas is NEVER TRUST A FUCKING SHARK. There’s a very good reason why the president of The United States put them on the endangered species list for looking at him sideways (you know how they do). Perhaps the most famous shark of them all (yes, more famous than Jaws, the one Michael Phelps raced and the one that nibbled on Ryan Seacrest; fight me), Left Shark from Katy Perry’s 2015 Super Bowl Halftime show revealed to NPR (NPR so super left) that his bad dancing was all an act. That son of a bitch.
Looks Like Mel Gibson’s “The Passion Of The Christ” Sequel Is Really Happening
Jesus Christ portrayer Jim Caviezel has some very exciting news to share. He got interviewed by USA Today! But that’s not even the most exciting part. Jim says we’ve got to hold onto our pants because Mel Gibson is going to raise his career from the dead by making a sequel to 2004’s The Passion of The Christ. So no, apparently Mel has not been cancelled. The lucky bastard got his bullshit grandfathered in.
Dakota Johnson Says She Probably Wasn’t Staring At Angelina Jolie At The Golden Globes
At the Golden Globes, Dakota Johnson got caught caught staring in Angelina Jolie’s direction as Angelina attempted not to notice Jennifer Aniston standing on stage in front of them. Dakota now says that she might not actually have been caught staring at the person we all want her to be.
Tom Hardy Finally Got The Leonardo DiCaprio Tattoo He Had To Get For Losing A Bet
Cutesy celebrity wagers are pretentious and annoying but when said wager requires me to scan pictures of Tom Hardy’s biceps on a Wednesday morning, I can let it slide. In 2016, Tom Hardy said that he and his The Revenant co-star Leonardo Dicaprio made a bet about whether or not he’d get an Oscar nomination for getting all ornery and ugly in the film. Leonardo bet that Tom would get an Oscar nom, and Tom thought the opposite. And instead of ruining a man’s life for a single dollar like normal millionaires, Tom and Leo’s bet involved actual flesh and blood.
Stormy Daniels Denies She Had An Affair With Donald Trump, But Played Coy About Her Denial On “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”
Earlier this month, InTouch re-published a 2011 interview they did with porn star Stormy Daniels about an alleged affair she had with Donald Trump five years earlier. Stormy allegedly broke a $130,000 a month settlement agreement and an NDA to do that interview.
Trump has denied the affair every took place (an affair that allegedly took place right after Melania Trump gave birth to Barron). Melania may have responded by bailing on a work gig in Switzerland. And then, on the eve of last night’s State of the Union address, Stormy released a statement denying with absolute certainty that the affair never took place. Stormy also appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, and here’s the thing – she’s not so sure about the legitimacy of that statement either.