The “Celebrity Big Brother” House Will Be Filled With Leftovers From “Celebrity Apprentice” And “Dancing With The Stars”
Oh, and the cast also has a leftover from the currently-running terrifying reality shit show called The White House.
When Julie Chen announced that there will finally be a US version of Celebrity Big Brother, I said a prayer hoping that CBS would hire the casting director responsible for casting all six seasons of The Surreal Life. Because the casting people behind The Surreal Life knew the perfect ingredients for a batshit stew. But instead of doing that, CBS went over to Dancing with the Has-Beens and the Celebrity Apprentice and picked up the leftovers that were tossed on the floor after losing their season. Although, they did cast one Surreal Life alumni….
Last night, CBS and The Chenbot announced the cast of “Celebrity” Big Brother during the Grammys. Professional reality show wreck turned professional White House wreck Omarosa is going back to doing what she does best: stir shit up for a check. Omarosa is the big “name” of the CBB US cast, so that should tell you how mostly tragic the rest of the cast is. The other 10 “celebrities” who made the decision to get locked up in a house with Omarosa are:
Brandi Glanville, LeAnn Rimes’ arch rival and a former Real Housewife of Beverly Hills who was also on Celebrity Apprentice.
Metta World Peace, former NBA player and one of my favorite messes who was also on Dancing with the Stars.
Ross Matthews, the big gay rod of happiness who’s a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race and has never been on CA or DWTS.
Keshia Knight Pulliam, Rudy from The Cosby Show who was also on CA.
Shannon Elizabeth, the Slovakian exchange student from American Pie who was also on DWTS.
Ariadna Gutierrez, the beauty queen who was wrongly crowned Miss Universe by Steve Harvey. Like Ross, she hasn’t been on CA or DWTS.
Mark McGrath, the human form of a can of Monster Energy Drink who was also on CA.
Marissa Jaret Winokur, the Tony-winning star of Hairspray on Broadway who was also on DWTS.
Chuck Liddell, a retired MMA fighter who was also on DWTS.
James Maslow, a singer from the pop group Big Time Rush who was also on DWTS.
Yes, I called that cast “mostly tragic,” but I’m still going to watch every episode and the live feeds when that mess debuts on February 7. I’m going to watch for two reasons:
- I want to see if Brandi and Omarosa realize that if they join forces, their powers of famewhoreness will grow stronger and they’ll really be able to terrorize the house. Or if one of them will leave the house while chewing the bones of the other. It’s going to be the latter.
- I want to see Omarosa incriminate herself when she spills shit about Trump. There’s only so many times she can say, “You’ll have to wait to read it in my upcoming tell-all!”