Any self-respecting theater queen knows that Dame Patti LuPone (she ain’t technically a Dame, but she should be) and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “feud” goes back decades and has gotten messier than the Kylie Jenner-like lips on the movie Evita (aka Patti’s favorite Evita). But according to Page Six, Patti has put down the shiv and the two are working amicably together on a performance for the Grammys. The only correct way to respond to this is to grab each other’s hands and sing Kumbaya, because if Patti and Sir Andrew can stop fighting, so can the world!
Patti first worked with Sir Andrew in 1979 when she played Evita on Broadway. They worked together again in 1993 when Patti played Norma Desmond in the original production of Sunset Boulevard in London. Patti was contracted to star in the Broadway production too, but then Glenn Close came along… Glenn starred in the L.A. production of Sunset Boulevard, and after getting drowned in praise (including from my little gay ass who stood for her when I saw it in L.A.), it was announced that she was going to star in the Broadway production instead of Patti. Patti found out by reading Liz Smith’s column. It’s at this time that I’d like for all of us to drop our heads and have a moment of silence for the glasses and windows who lost their lives when Patti shattered them with her screams of rage after finding out that she got dumped. Patti threatened to sue and they reportedly settled for $1 million, which she used to put a pool in her backyard. She called the pool the “Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool.”
Over the years, Patti continued to shit all over Sir Andrew and she devoted a piece of her memoirs to dragging him. Patti said that she was wary of taking the role of Evita because of how hard it was to sing, and she felt like Andrew Lloyd Webber hated women and loved torturing their vocal cords. During a 2005 interview with The Washington Post, Patti came for his looks with this:
“And didn’t he look charming last night at the Oscars?” She cackles in delight. “All bloated!” The laugh subsides and she murmurs ruefully, “Forgive me.”
Just last year, Patti spit and shanked at Sir Andrew in an interview with NY1’s On Stage (NY1 later scrubbed this part from their website).
“Webber is a desperate human being. He really is. He created a toxic environment because he didn’t get what he wanted. [The firing] had nothing to do with show business and everything to do with a man that is mentally unstable. And so it infected my life.”
But Page Six says that Corky’s mom has either put her intense hatred for Andrew Lloyd Webber aside or is over it (yeah right), because she’s agreed to sing Don’t Cry For Me Argentina during a tribute to Broadway at the Grammys this Sunday. Patti and Sir Andrew met yesterday to rehearse, and when she swept into the room, everybody probably ducked thinking she was going to start throwing chairs and shit. Instead, Patti threw some niceness at her former (maybe) arch rival:
“Hello, Andrew,” she said and then, turning to the others in the room, added, “This is détente, ladies and gentlemen.”
There were big laughs, Lloyd Webber and LuPone embraced — and went to work.
Sources say LuPone insisted that Lloyd Webber do the trimming. Then she brought down the rehearsal studio by singing the song in its original key.
“She’s in spectacular voice,” a source says. “Andrew was blown away.”
The source also says that they talked for a minute and he “joked” that she should star in another revival of Evita.
Patti already said that she feels like Andrew Lloyd Webber was trying to murder lady singers when he wrote the songs for Evita, and now he’s asking her if she wants to do it again? There’s no way Patti didn’t see that “joke” as a murderous threat! So on Sunday night, I fully expect her to sing, “Don’t cry for me, Andrew Lloyd Uglyyyyyyy, the truth is I’ve always hated you…..” And she’ll sing it in the original key, bitch!