Obviously nothing can beat the perfection of Clue: The Movie, but Hollywood has been determined to make a remake happen for years now. The last time we checked in, 20th Century Fox had plans to make the stale hamburger version of Clue: The Movie’s filet mignon by creating a big-budget “global thriller” blockbuster. As it turns out, we’re not even getting hamburger anymore. Hollywood might be giving us human-grade dog food beef chunks in the form of a Clue movie made by Ryan Reynolds and the Deadpool writing team.
Deadline says that 20th Century Fox made a three-year first look deal with Ryan’s production company, Maximum Effort. The first movie in the deal will reportedly be a live-action film based on the Clue board game. Ryan is currently in talks with the writers from the first Deadpool movie, Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick to write the script. Ryan will star in it, but it’s not known who he’ll play.
Because I’m an eternal optimist, I choose to believe that a Ryan Reynolds-produced Clue movie written by the people who brought you Deadpool has the potential to be not-completely-terrible. But that doesn’t mean it’s not still going to be messier than a garage sale Clue in which half the game pieces have been replaced with tokens from Monopoly and various Garbage Pail Kids cards. Ryan Reynolds is going to play a smarmy deadpan detective with a double entendre of a name, like Inspector Dick Thrustington. The murderer will have staged the scene of death to make it look like Mr. Boddy wanked himself to death. And the clue left at the scene of the crime will be farts. The only person excited for this news is Blake Lively. Finally, she’ll get to live out all her antebellum julep-sippin’ dreams on the big screen by nabbing the role of southern belle Miss Peach.