Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 23, 2018 / Posted by:

Jack Reynolds, the 105-year-old human sparkler who is breaking records left and right thanks to the nectar of the gods known as whisky!

Jack Reynolds is a great-granddaddy from Derbyshire in England, and he refuses to spend the platinum years of his life lying on a bed while breathing through a gas mask bong as his body gets slathered with BenGay by four hot shirtless pieces he paid using whatever is left of his 401k (which is how I hope to be spending the platinum years of my life if I make it that long). Jack is more active than me. Last year, he won the Guinness World Record for being the oldest person to ever ride a rollercoaster. He also got a tattoo on his 104th birthday, flew in a vintage Tiger Moth aircraft that same year and became the oldest person to do the Ice Bucket Challenge (remember that shit?) at the age of 102. Super Pepaw Jack is back in the news after successfully taking on a rappel!

Metro UK says that Jack was invited by ALPS Ltd in the town of Dronfield to try out an abseil (aka a rappel). He didn’t do just one trial, he did three. It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a whisky-guzzling super pepaw!

About that whisky…

Jack has always said that a major ingredient in the recipe for his long life is whisky, and his daughter Jayne Goodwin told Metro that for him, the best part of waking up is whisky in his tea cup.

“He has a whisky in his tea every morning and two shots of Grouse in a glass with lemonade at night and swears by it. If we’ve got a cold or anything he straight away gives us a whisky, that’s his medicine and it’s not done him bad.”

Super oldies saying that the key to them hitting centenarian status is hitting that bottle is nothing new, but I still appreciate these stories. They’re the receipts I pull out whenever my mom throws me a look that says, “Pendejo, you really don’t need that third glass of wine.” And this story makes me wish that former Hot Slut of the Year finalist Flossie Dickey was still alive. Yes, Flossie’s idea of physical activity is throwing annoyed looks at the annoying tricks around her, but she still would’ve bonded with Jack over their love of whisky!

Pic: @GMB

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