Poor California has been dealt a bad hand the last few months with natural disasters ranging from mudslides to wildfires, and now they have to deal with the spewing lava from the eruption of Mt. Pimp Mama Kris! What caused ‘er to blow? Her sneaky daughters did an “Our Family” fashion spread for Calvin Klein and forgot to invite her!
Vogue reports the fashion brand’s chief creative officer, Raf Simmons, is focusing on all things “Americana,” and since a Big Mac and 40-ounce Diet Coke doesn’t fit out a pair of skinny jeans, he had to resort to a fashion shoot with America’s other symbol (gross): the Kardashians. Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim Kardashian along with sisters Kylie (who subtly covered her bump) and Kendall Jenner are appearing in a worldwide campaign for Calvin Klein Jeans and Calvin Klein Underwear in the latest string of family-friendly and family-oriented ads for the designer.
The whole thing was shot on a barn-looking set in Los Angeles, with Kim looking like a NASCAR pit crew member (the whole collection is said to be inspired by the 90s CK-era of Mark Wahlberg and Kate Moss) and the rest of the sisters all kind of dramatically posed on a rug that looks like something you buy in a Homegoods clearance bin for your Freshman dorm. They all look about as spliced together as Archie Panjabi’s final scene in The Good Wife, which, considering how many pregnancy hormones are racing through them, might not be the worst way to shoot an ad. Kaia and Presley Gerber were in a previous ad, and Kim was more than happy to give a soundbite for just how much she loves family:
“Family is everything, so when we’re all together doing something special like this, it means so much.”
They also posed in their underwear, while Kylie used a whole blanket to covered up her baby-growing part.
Doing something special apparently did not include letting Mom-ager Kris Jenner in front of the camera, which is a shame since she has been threatening to bare her chonies for a few months now, so this would have been a prime opportunity to deadpan, “Nothing gets between me and my Calvins…see?! I can prove it!” To make matters worse, Kim makes it sound like it’s all the sisters could blab about in a group thread:
“We were all in a group text before saying how lucky we are to do this together and that it’s going to be the best day.”
Nothing sounds like it would induce a case of “Mom has left this conversation” than a slew of Kardashian-Jenner iMessages with denim emojis and bragging about a Calvin Klein contract, but I’m sure they were all served a piece of humble pie when mom replied with the invoice for her cut of their “best day.”
Pic: Calvin Klein/Willy Vanderperre