There’s nothing like ending a night of drunkenness by deep throating a fast food fried chicken drumstick as a voice from yonder says to you, “Yeah, that’s kind of inappropriate, and also you’re getting crumbs on my seats.” And yes, that voice is usually the Lyft driver.
Because fast food fried chicken and drunks go together like Trump’s naranja nalgas (narangas?) and a copy of Forbes with his daughter on the cover, KFC in the UK and Ireland squirted out a stunt that speaks to their drunk customer base. The Independent says that KFC got inspired by the trend in stocktails (cocktails made with broth, SICK) and invented three cocktails using Colonel Sanders special gravy as one of the ingredients. Apologies if I just gave you the image of Colonel Sanders busting his gravy into a cocktail.
Their vomtails won’t be sold in any KFCs, but they did share the recipes. They came up with The Gravy Mary (a Blood Mary with gravy, basically), The Southern Twist (bourbon, gravy, lemon, brown sugar, parsley) and The Fingerlickin’ Sour (mezcal, gravy, cherry liqueur, lemon juice, orange marmalade, salt, pepper and an egg white). They also made several videos of a bartender whipping that mess up.
Another way to make these cocktails is to swallow all the ingredients and shake your body good before sniffing KFC’s disgusting green beans. That shit will make you barf, and right before you do, position your mouth over a cocktail glass. VOILA! An instant KFC gravy cocktail!
Pic: KFC UK via The Independent