As if I even needed to specify it was Ivanka Trump.
It’s been alleged that porn star Stormy Daniels was paid $130,000 a month before the election to keep quiet about an affair she had with Donald Trump in 2006. The only thing is, Stormy originally spoke to In Touch in 2011 about the affair, long before she allegedly took the $130,000 and signed an NDA. So yesterday InTouch Weekly was like, here, have at it, folks, and republished parts of their story.
Stormy’s story starts with Trump meeting her at a golf tournament four months after Barron Trump was born. Trump asked her out to dinner (dinner in this case was eating in his hotel room while wearing sweatpants). Stormy and Trump saw each other several times after that, and she says they often got chatty. That surprises me, because Trump totally seems like the type whose bedroom communication skills would be limited to grunts, burps, and snoring. But InTouch says that one of the things Trump did was give Stormy the following compliment. Please, have a trash can at the ready before proceeding. Stormy says:
“He once told me that I was someone to be reckoned with, beautiful and smart just like his daughter.”
He then added: “Oh Stormy, but imagine if she wasn’t my daughter?” before closing his eyes and humming “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Cinderella. I made that last part up, but it totally sounds like it could be legit. According to Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen, In Touch is making everything up.
“President Trump once again vehemently denies any such occurrence, as has Ms. Daniels.”
Stormy can’t really talk about any of this, because she signed an NDA. She also set her Twitter account to private.
Trump’s compliment about being like Ivanka might have been innocent if it was given during dinner, and not while pulling up his XXXL underoos in a hotel room. Plus it’s so insulting to compare Stormy to Ivanka. Stormy’s an accomplished adult film actress, not a seller of tacky gold-plated jewelry and cheap peplum dresses. Have some respect!