Angelina Jolie Is Not Interested In Dating Anytime Soon

January 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Her ex may be getting out there pitching woo under the guise of William “leathers” Bradley, but People reports that Angelina Jolie prefers the joy of her own company and isn’t ready to date yet. And despite what VP Mike Pence thinks, a man and a woman can share a meal without without swapping body fluids, so Angelina and Chris Hemsworth sitting together at the Golden Globes has no bearing on her relationship status. The fact is that while she may be single, mingling is the last thing on her mind.

People notes:

Angelina Jolie is single and not interested in dating, a source tells PEOPLE. “She isn’t dating anyone and won’t be for a very long time. She is focused on her children and their needs,” the source says.

Oh, does Angie have children? How did I miss that! What I do know is that Angie actually hates being single. You may remember last fall she said “I don’t enjoy being single. It’s not something I wanted. There’s nothing nice about it. It’s just hard.” Maybe that’s why when she saidI have had my ups and downs. I guess I am a little bit stronger” people thought she might be rallying and romantically linked her to a Cambodian rapper.

Recent rumors linked Jolie to Cambodian lyricist and filmmaker PraCh Ly, but the source tells PEOPLE that the rapper “is a friend.” “She respects his work,” the source adds.

She’s still not strong enough, guys. Maybe what Angie needs is for someone to help her by writing a online dating profile for her. Scratch that, Angie probably needs the children’s help to power on her iphone. Let’s give her an analog personals ad.

SWF, ageless, ISO SM or possibly SF of any race for doting companionship. Must tolerate children well. You: Extremely attractive (in spirit), highly complementary of me and keenly sensitive to my needs and wants for myself, my children and the downtrodden of this world. But mostly me. Should exude pan-denominational piety and be willing to let me watch you sloppily eat take-out from P.F. Chang’s from my Victorian fainting couch across the room. Me: Mother, savior, survivor, saint. Serious inquiries only. No fatties.

Now let’s help her pic a photo to go with her ad from these taken at yesterday’s Critics’ Choice Awards.


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