Open Post: Hosted By Dakota Johnson Trying To Covertly See Angelina Jolie’s Reaction To Jennifer Aniston Being Onstage

The ones who are not named St. Angie Jolie or Jennifer Aniston are acting so strange in that picture. The natural reaction to being that close to Angie and Aniston at the same time is to hold up two phones: one to record Angie’s face reacting to Aniston, and the other to record Aniston’s face reacting to Angie. Celebrities are so fucking weird.

When it was announced that St. Angie and Aniston were both going to present at the Golden Globes, I figured that they’d both have sniffer dogs with them at all times. As soon as Angie’s sniffer dog picked up the scent of weed and Aveeno products nearby (ha, like Aniston really uses that shit), she’d immediately run the other direction. And as soon as Aniston’s sniffer dog picked up the scent of Botox and Brad Pitt’s tears (her current moisturizer of choice), she’d immediately run the other direction to avoid running into her forever arch rival (according to the tabloids and me). But Angie and Aniston managed to get sort of close to each other.

Instagram user (and Team Aniston member) obviousbutamazing posted a screen shot (via Glamour) from when Jennifer Aniston presented an award with Carol Burnett. The camera caught Angie looking away as Dakota Johnson proved that she’s a Star Magazine source by trying to see Angie’s reaction.

Angie does look pissed in that picture. She’s probably pissed at the assistant who was supposed to “call her away” with an excuse right before Aniston took the stage. An excuse like, “Sorry, Ms. Jolie, but Phyllis Diller’s children are waiting for you in the lobby. They want to jump your ass for stealing their mom’s dress.”

And sure this entire post is a bone-breaking reach (especially after watching the video at the 0:40 mark), but what’s not a reach is the fact that Chris Hemsworth is obviously ignoring the Angie/Aniston shit because he’s too busy busting an O from being that close to hot piece Thor:Ragnarok director Taika Waititi. Filming on Thor took forever because Chris kept having that reaction. It’s a natural one.

Pics: Instagram, Wenn.com