The Synchronized Snow Sissies!
If my friend Jesse and I were cokeheads and competed at the druggie Olympics as synchronized coke snorters, our team name would be The Synchronized Snow Sissies (that would also be our team name if were synchronized snow angel makers). But in this case, The Synchronized Snow Sissies was used in a YouTube title to describe two horses who stopped and performed a perfect FUCK NO just seconds after they trotted into an asshole-freezing tundra.
YouTube user jpcicisco posted a 19 second video (via Reddit) of two horses being let out of their stables to frolic in the snow. The Synchronized Sissies’ human may have been thinking that they were going to get yet another video of horses screaming “COOOOOKE!” in their heads while rolling around in the snow. But they got something better.
These horses don’t think snow is cute. They don’t like snow. They don’t want to be in snow. They want nothing to do with snow. They’d rather watch They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? with a snake than be in the snow. This is pretty much me if anyone asks me if I want to watch Zoo again.
Sure, those horses’ human could’ve trained them to pull that very smart move for views, but still, this video couldn’t have come at a better time. Because this is the real and 100% accurate definition of “stable genius.”