Who Is December’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

I don’t know how I made it out of 2017 alive (SPOILER ALERT: I made it out alive thanks to weed, weed, the promise of seeing Prince Hot Ginge in a prince uniform on his wedding day, and more weed), but I know exactly how I got through December. I got through it by powering my life bars on the hotness wafting off of the gayest cake in the land, the drunk opossum, Robin Roberts throwing a dig at Omarosa and the investigative journalism brilliance of Rhoda Young!

It’s the final Hot Slut of the Month contest of 2017, which means we’re close to crowning the new reigning Queen of Dlisted (aka the Hot Slut of 2017). Like every damn month, the first three finalists fighting for the HSOTM title (“Um, how can we fight when none of us want it?” – all four HSOTM finalists) got the most Facebook likes and the last one was picked by me. Your choices are:

The sugary gay extravaganza that a baker in Canada whipped up for a couple who requested the gayest cake ever. For those of you haters throwing a, “that’s the gayest cake ever?” look, you try to find a cake mold of Liberace riding a unicorn.

The drunk opossum in Florida who did her state proud by breaking into a liquor store and getting plastered on booze she didn’t pay for.

Robin Roberts, the highly-esteemed journalist (and that was served without a milliounce of sarcasm) who brought Bye Felicia back from the dead and used it to drag Omarosa.

Rhoda Young, the citizen reporter in Virginia who did the jobs of Murphy Brown and Jessica Fletcher at the same time by reporting on and solving an arson case.

Because I really want to get to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals, this HSOTM contest is going to be quicker than the dorm room sex between Forrest Gump and Jenny. The winner will be announced on Friday.


Pic: Facebook, Facebook, ABC News, Facebook

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