Open Post: Hosted By Phoebe Price Bringing Massive Amounts Of Demureness Into 2018

Many of us hope that 2018 will bring in many, many changes (examples: 2018 being the year that we finally get some dick, the house next door to me getting plowed down to make way for a 24-hour In-N-Out and Nicolette Sheridan getting recast with Joan Collins on the Dynasty reboot). But I am so happy to see one thing has stayed the same: Phoebe Price slathering the streets of Los Angeles with star power, elegance and three kinds of chicken (cutlets, paillard and roasted).

While some of us spent New Year’s Day trying to drown our hangovers with cold pizza and the entire wig of the dog (read: a bottle of ro-zay) while binge-watching the original Black Mirror (read: The Twilight Zone), Chicken Cutlets was working hard on the stroll where she turned a regular trip to the gas station into glamorous performance art. While looking like the ringmaster of a strip club circus sponsored by the local Fashion Nova outlet, PP posed with a gas pump and rubbed her freckled chichi bags on her car as she cleaned the windshield. PP brought so much SEX onto her SUV that I’m sure it jizzed out of its exhaust pipe.

And Phoebe Price is certified organic and everything she does is authentic and real, so it hurts me to say this, but this gorgeous photoshoot was obviously taken at a fake gas station on a soundstage somewhere. Because if that was a real gas station, I would’ve heard that an entire city block in Los Angeles was blown to Jesus when a stunning human ginger sparkle got too close to the gas.

Pics: Wenn.com