If by some miracle I’m still alive at 85, the last thing I’m going to want to do is be tortured by some infernal piece of technology. I’ll happily live out my golden years listening to my favorite songs on the old iPod mini I’ve been holding onto since 1999. I’ll take a pass on your futuristic brain implants, your robot DJs, your pulsating holograms or whatever new-fangled technology they’ll have by then. I will not get played like this Italian Granny did by her ungrateful children who’ve filmed her giving a new Google Home the old college try.
I really want hear “Hey Goo Goo” as a club hit. If the internet can make that happen for me, 2017 will have been worth all the pain.
She’s developing quite a complicated relationship with this thing! Yes, she’s scared when it correctly tells her the weather, but she’s also not putting up with any of its bullshit. She raps her fingers on that thing like I’m sure she’s rapped on some naughty grand kid’s forehead. And what happens when Goo Goo won’t play your favorite song? Well technology is dumb and sometimes it’s just easier to do the damn thing yourself! Nonna doesn’t have time for your games, Goo Goo. By the end this is clear. No more polite “Hey“s, no more laborious “OK“s. Just “do it!“.