My favorite journalist Prince Hot Ginge interviewed our 44th POTUS Barack Obama on BBC Radio 4, and in between fluffy questions about the political dangers of social media and the pressures of being president, PHG asked hard-hitting ones like “boxers or briefs?”, “Rachel or Monica?” and “Kim or Khloe?” Obama wouldn’t answer the last one, but he should’ve said, “You mean Kim Fields or Chloe Lattanzi, right? Because they are the only Kim and Chloe I care about!” There was one answer that Obama gave and it made me wish he was hooked up to a lie detector machine, because I really want to see a lie detector needle spell the words “Bitch, PLEASE!” on a piece of lie detector paper.
Before the Walter Cronkite of royal gingers asked Obama the real questions, he asked what it was like sitting at the inauguration in January while watching Jabba the Trump get sworn in as our overlord. While many of us felt a mixture of doom eating at our soul and drunkness from guzzling down a gallon jug of vodka as we watched the inauguration, Obama said he felt a sense of “serenity.” No he didn’t mean he felt a sense of serenity because the National Mall was so quiet due to nobody showing up. Obama said this when explaining why he felt a sense of serenity:
“The first thing that went through my mind was, sitting across from Michelle, how thankful I was that she had been my partner through that whole process. That was mixed with all the work that was still undone, and concerns about how the country moves forward. But you know overall, there was a serenity there. More than I would have expected.”
Okay, now on to the REAL questions. PHG did a round of highly important quick questions, and the entire thing is in the video at the end of this post, but here’s a few of them:
PHG: Boxers or Briefs?
Obama: Sorry we don’t answer those questions.
PHG: Aretha Franklin or Tina Turner?
Obama: Aretha’s the best.
PHG: Rachel or Monica?
Obama: I like Rachel.
PHG: Harry or William?
Obama: William right now.
PHG: Suits or The Good Wife?
Obama: Suits, obviously.
I don’t have a Trump-loving auntie or uncle who’s the only one at the holiday dinner table to burn calories since they’re constantly running their mouth about what a liar Obama is, but if I did, I’d say to them, “You maaaaaaaaay have a point.” I mean, who would choose Suits OVER The Good Wife? No, I haven’t seen one millisecond of The Good Wife, but it had Christine Baranski and a topless Jeffrey Dean Morgan in it. In what world is Suits better than that? But I don’t blame Obama. He’s obviously trying to get an invite to PHG and Meghan Markle’s wedding, and who wouldn’t to see a drunken THE QUEEN say fuck it to the whole “single ladies only” rule by clocking a bitch with her pocketbook while going for the bouquet?
'Boxers or briefs?'
— BBC Radio 4 Today (@BBCr4today) December 27, 2017