While the actual royal family was busy teaching the American basic cable colonist how to curtsy for THE QUEEN, America’s K-Mart Kardashian royal fame whore family finally released their annual Christmas card after countless days of teases…and the official card had a few members notably absent.
For the past 4,598,094 days (it felt like it anyway), Pimp Mama Kris and her koven have been posting pieces of their bootleg Gap ad Christmas card advent-style. Each day, they’d post a new picture and yesterday, they posted the final card. People reports Kylie Jenner and Rob Kardashian did NOT make the cut on this year’s final KarJenner kard. Admittedly, Kanye West didn’t either despite popping up on day 3,000 of the Kardashian Advent Kalendar, but I’m sure that’s because Pimp Mama Kris only allots official card space to those who she can dock her manager’s fee from. Sorry, Blac Chyna!
Those two also didn’t show up on Instagram posts from the annual Kardashian Christmas Eve party, which included performances by the 1999 Billboard charts, I mean…Babyface, Toni Braxton, and Brian McKnight. Even though Scott Disick, Christina Aguilera, and Ryan Seacrest made the trek to Calabasas, Rob and Kylie were nowhere to be found, but Khloé Kardashian tried to dispel rumors of family rift on her Snapchat story Christmas Day by saying, “Merry Christmas! People think you weren’t there last night.” Kylie, always the Chatty Cathy, blabbed back, “I was.” Rob and Kylie were both there to celebrate wearing matching pajamas as the rest of the Krampus Koven.
People have been wondering why Kylie and Rob have been absent from social media, but that might have something to do with the Kardashians accomplishing what White House staffers wish they could do with a certain someone. Rob went on the social media tirade against Blac a few months ago, so Kris I’m sure seized that phone so Twitter didn’t get in the way of a hefty pay bump while negotiations went on with E! and Princess Goldilocks (aka Ryan). As for Kylie, I’m sure that’s the bigger mystery to the klan since People says she’s wanted to stay hidden from the public eye whilst preggerz. We snarky birches might have been wrong about the “fake” Kardashian all these years since I don’t think you can really call yourself a KarJenner unless you have at LEAST three Paper Magazine photo shoots per trimester!