Even if your holiday ended with your dirtbag cousin vindictively lighting the tree on fire after your wealthy great-aunt revealed that she’s leaving her entire fortune to an alpaca sanctuary in Fresno, California, you probably had a better one than Ex-Countess Luann De Lesseps of Real Housewives of New York City fame. Luann was pinched by the Palm Beach, Fl PD on Saturday night for a whole slew of charges that boiled down to “angry drunk kicks cop and verbally threatens to kill the world.” This (along with her quickie divorce from Tom D’Agostino Jr.) is obviously going to be her story arc for Season 10 of RHONYC. Speaking of her divorce, she’s blaming it for her booze meltdown.
Luann tweeted her apologies to her many friends, fans, and producers whom she wants to assure that she’s going to stay at the “good grist for the reunion special“-level of drunk as opposed to the “I just plowed my car into the Alice in Wonderland statues in Central Park“-level that could account for trying to launch your Jimmy Choo up a cop’s ass. That’s the kind of drunk that might cause Bravo’s producers to consider demoting you to “best friend” and making you recurring.
I want to offer my most sincere apologies to anyone that I might have offended with my behavior. This was my first time in Palm Beach since my wedding and being here brought up buried emotions. I am committed to a transformative and hopeful 2018
— Luann de Lesseps (@CountessLuann) December 24, 2017
It remains to be seen if Luann was filming for Season 10 or just down in Palm Beach to avoid her fellow Real Housewives hags telling her “I told you so, Ex-Countess!” What she SHOULD have done instead of revealing her plans to end lives and giving booze a bad name was to record a comeback single. She’s already got the cover. You “Tardy for the Party” stans can shut up, because Ex-Countess Luann has this when it comes to Bravo reality show cast members dropping novelty singles. She’s got a lot of material to draw from now. She should start with how she dropped a fabulous title like “Countess” to become “Mrs. D’Agostino” for a couple of seconds. Can she get it back?