Meghan Markle will officially join the British Royal Family in May 2018, but if you ask my ass, she officially joined this morning when she partook in the family tradition of wearing a stupid fucking hat to Christmas Day church service at St Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham. Besides resisting the urge to slap Prince Michael of Kunt at THE QUEEN’s pre-Christmas lunch the other day, Meghan Markel’s biggest challenge as a royal was probably trying to stay the hell awake through Christmas church service today. Although, it’s probably impossible to fall asleep when your down-low parts are loudly singing HALLELUJAH over you getting to do Prince Hot Ginge on the regular.
Meghan joined PHG, THE QUEEN, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Duchess Camilla and Duchess Kate at church this morning. Duchess Kate did herself up like a little rich girl from the 1950s on Christmas Day, and it was highly rude of her to wear that warm bear pubes hat on her head while her husband was probably suffering from hypothermia of the bald spot. Duchess Kate’s hat and coat were made by the Haus of Who Cares What Duchess Kate Was Wearing When Meghan Markle Was There. Because I know you care and really want to max out your credit cards while getting the exact look, Meghan Markle wore a $1,300 baby alpaca coat by Sentaler, $650 suede boots by Stuart Weitzman, a $1,400 Chloe purse and a fancy chocolate hat that looks like the poop emoji to haters, and like a fancy French version of the poop emoji (le poop emojé) to fans.
I didn’t see any pictures of Prince George and Princes Charlotte. They were probably busy doing more important things: commanding the stores to open so that they can return the dumb Christmas presents they didn’t want.
And here’s more pictures from this morning’s service including one of THE QUEEN blinding everyone’s eyes by looking like a regal naranja.