Everyone and everything in the video for Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man) by The Weather Girls!
Usually us drunk messes’ go-to-song to drunkenly lip-synch to by ourselves at the end of Christmas Eve is Santa Baby (the Eartha Kitt version only). But switch it up this year with another masterpiece Christmas classic that is the holiday theme song for those of us who go to bed on Christmas Eve with visions of sugar peens dancing in our heads. In 1983, Martha Wash and the late and glamorously great Izora Armstead (aka the original Weather girls) put a holiday spin on their dick-summoning rain song It’s Raining Men and delivered a beautiful musical gift to the hard-up desperate man crazy hos out there.
Dear Santa (Bring Me A Man) is pure perfection for your ears and eyes. The song perfectly sums up my Christmas gift wish list every single year and the video is glamour personified from Martha and Izora’s matching polka dot titty scarf things to their be-wigged and sequined back-up singers to the hot moves busted out by their back-up dancers (which look like the most glamorous cult members ever) to them dancing in a coke storm at the very end. No hate to Mariah Carey, but if any Christmas classic from the olden days should’ve broken onto the charts for the first time in history, it should’ve been this flawless Christmas jewel:
The AAA Girls (Alaska, Courteney Act and Willam from RuPaul’s Drag Race) paid homage to this classic, as everyone should, by doing their own version a few years ago.
The song and video ends on a cliffhanger. Did Santa ever bring them a man? Knowing how Santa always disappoints, my guess is that he didn’t bring them a man, or he really disappointed them by showing up with a bow on his crotch while wrongly thinking that he’s the kind of man they’ve been wishing for. The Weather Girls really should’ve done a follow-up song called Fuck You Santa (For Not Bringing Me A Maaaaan. I Would’ve Settled For A Vibrator).