If you have an older iPhone, you might have spent a lot of time recently staring at the screen for extended periods of time. But unlike Derek Hough above, you probably weren’t glued to your phone in a never-ending quest to find the best spray tan salon. Your time would be spent wondering why in the fuck your iPhone got so slow after a software update. Apple recently confessed that they had been intentionally slowing down older iPhones on purpose. Except it totally wasn’t a shady move to get you to upgrade to the latest iPhone, oh no. Apple claims the slow down was to offset problems with an aging lithium battery. Basically, your phone wants to run like a granny smith, but the battery is forcing it to run like a red delicious (aka the worst kind of apple).
The truth may set some people free, but Apple’s truth could land them in court. According to CNBC, a class action lawsuit has been filed against Apple in California by two people named Stefan Bogdanovich and Dakota Speas. They claim Apple never had their consent to “slow down” their iPhones. Both Stefan and Dakota, who own iPhone 7s, believe they are entitled to compensation and are seeking damages from Apple.
Another class action lawsuit was filed in Chicago by Apple customers from Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and North Carolina.
Stefan and Dakota are also hoping to have their lawsuit certified so that it covers everyone in the United States who owns anything older than an iPhone 8. I don’t want money. I just want an apology from Apple to my contacts list. My phone had so much trouble keeping up with who I was texting, that 9 times out of 10, a picture went to the wrong recipient. A lot of former co-workers got an unreasonable amount of Shrek GIFs at 1am and they deserve an apology.