These lit (literally) nails!
No, I don’t know how you’d be able to wipe your shitty ass with those nails, but I do know that you’ll easily be able to light a match to kill the fresh scent of caca fumes.
The Shade Room pointed me toward an Instagram video that shows off the ridiculously amazing work of nail artiste Tony of Tony’s Nails in Wichita Falls, TX. Tony’s Nails did one nail up like a June beetle that got a glamour makeover by Liberace, and another nail like a bedazzled match strike. (DISCLAIMER: The following will only make sense if you watched last night’s shamelessly rigged Survivor finale.) These nails are perfect if you’re a Survivor contestant whom the producers really want to win and will add a stupid fire-making plot twist at the last minute to make sure you get into the final 3. These nails are also perfect if you’re a pissed-off Survivor watcher who wants to light a candle and raise it in honor of the Justice4Chrissy movement. /SurvivorIsRiggedRant.
Now get into these pyromaniac’s dream nails that are going to put BIC lighters out of business:
Those nails should really come with a warning label. You should already know not to get into any finger fucking fun with nails like that, but still, there’s some dumbasses out there who will try it and end up with a fire in their loins, for real. And the only time you want some burnt up poon or ass lips is when you’ve humped on Carrot Top or Prince Hot Ginge.