Today’s Edition of Matt Damon Knows Best: We Should Be Praising Men Who Don’t Sexually Harass People

I’m getting Matt Damon a gift certificate for Home Depot for Christmas. His shovel must worn down to the nub by now with all the digging he’s been doing. And he’s showing no signs of quitting! Earlier this week he drew ire for his asinine comments on the varying levels of sexual harassment he’s identified. Gross. Nevertheless, he persisted. While promoting his upcoming movie Downsizing, Matt told Business Insider that he doesn’t think men get enough credit for not touching butts.

Matt said:

“We’re in this watershed moment, and it’s great, but I think one thing that’s not being talked about is there are a whole s—load of guys — the preponderance of men I’ve worked with — who don’t do this kind of thing and whose lives aren’t going to be affected.”

Ah, yes, The Preponderance Of Men. That just happens to be the title of my next novel! It’s about a genteel man who valiantly goes to work every day cleaning the floors in a brothel yet never once allows himself to be lured into the sinful traps set by the harlots that work there.

But I digress. After all, I’m just a girl so sometimes I get all mixed up in my mind. But Matt Damon was right about how to be gay and he was right about diversity so of course he’s right about this!

Matt also pulled an “it depends” when asked if he’d work with somebody who was accused of sexual misconduct.

“That always went into my thinking,” Damon said. “I mean, I wouldn’t want to work with somebody who — life’s too short for that. But the question of if somebody had allegations against them, you know, it would be a case-by-case basis. You go, ‘What’s the story here?'”

Somebody who… somebody who… WHAT, MATT?! Spit it out! What’s your redline, we’d like to know. No, actually, I’m kidding. Nobody cares what you think. We’d actually like you to hush now. Close your eyes, Matt; it is now time for THE SLEEP OF AGES!

Pic: Wenn.com